3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
