No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
