Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
