Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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