Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize