Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
