He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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