I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
