chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
and she was petting her beer can
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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