my vag is so smooth its legendary
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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