thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
