I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There's always time for handjobs
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
