He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
