hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
