Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize