You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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