I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
