love makes seman taste better
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
