also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
