dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
