Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
