You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
