i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize