laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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