before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
