that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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