I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
