after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
