hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
