Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
