I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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