used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
