My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
