he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
