do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
