Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
