im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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