I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
