I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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