just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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