I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
