I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
