I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
