What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I FOUND THE LEGS
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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