Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
