Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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