i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
