if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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