omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
the raccoons are back...
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