No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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