Screwed.edu
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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