Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
