thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
