we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I want a musical about memes.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
