The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
