I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
