my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
